September 17, 2013
In the dead of night, a Bell AB-212 descends onto the heliport of David Guetta’s Ibiza compound. A slim, tall African-American lady descends the stairs onto the tarmac. Her hair is styled in a mullet, or some shit.
A few minutes later, another helicopter lands, transporting a Caucasian female with an aggressive platinum blonde hairstyle. She looks like she could use a sandwich.
Neither has any idea why Mr. Guetta has summoned them. A few minutes later, when @mikewillmadeit, French Montana, Future, Nicki Minaj, Flo Rida, Pitbull, and Katy Perry ascend the helipad stairs, everything becomes clear.
Their mission, should they chose to accept it: craft The Song Of the Summer 2013.
This did not happen, but it kinda did…
September 26, 2011
While contempleting your favorite pre-skating celebrities, have you ever considered which of them would probably have skated? Although I have not yet had the opportunity to turn this into a barstool conversation, I have incorporated it into an intricate mental game. Criteria? Dude must have been born before 1950. Besides that, I value badassery as the main indicator. Theodore Roosevelt, a staunch advocate of outdoor activities and an active lifestyle, probably would have had a mean f/s grind. Read the rest of this entry »