The Return of the Distressed Leather Giants Bomber Jacket: Expedition “Madness” Video Review

December 17, 2010

alt. post title: "Richard Angelides Can Still, Ostensibly, Land a Guitar"

Winter: a time for contemplation. For some dudes, a time to, from 12 PM to 12 AM on Sundays, barricade oneself in one’s “man cave” with NFL Sunday Ticket and a styrofoam cooler filled with Natural Ice. For skate dudes, a time to ensconce oneself in one’s television entertainment room with a grip of videos. Indeed, during the VHS era, if one entered a skate house, the legitness of said house was directly proportional to the height of the tower of VHS tapes alongside the entertainment center. Chest-high was optimal.

Back in the winter of ’93-94, a brutal ice storm paralyzed my hometown for a week, during which my local municipality cancelled school. During this time, I possessed solely the following videos: 1)A VHS tape with Barge at Will, Hokus Pokus, Love Child, Da Deal is Deal, and Whatever and 2) 411 #2. Oddly enough, seventeen years later, I still fuck with videos that include some of the same dudes, spots, and tricks.

Case in point: the new video offering from from Expedition[One], perhaps the most Nineties-centric company out there. It would appear that the dudes culled approximately 50% of the footage during the China filming trip that spawned Hello Hello Hello, the internet promo that fuckin’ powered the summer of ’09. However, perhaps as an homage kind of thing, the parts in this promo reconceptualize several key Nineties spots in the good ol’ U.S. of A.

Right off the bat, Kelly Hart brings back the fountain spot from Chico’s part in New World Order, an Andy Stone 5/0 kickflip out from somewhere, and Robert Douglas’ part in Whatever. Based on this, and also on its ten-minute length (plus credits, intro, narrative, etc.)  Madness is kind of like a Whatever for a new generation; main difference being they had time and/or funds (?) to film an actual narrative conceit instead of splicing in random clips from The Man With One Red Shoe or whatever the fuck. The above-linked video clip also includes what is most likely the first ever b/s Sanchez Grind–at least by someone other than Sanchez himself—executed in a Paleozoic-era Private Indoor Training Facility. Wasn’t Scott Noel from North Carolina or some shit? I don’t recall why I think that, but it would explain his sharing a part with Hendrix.

K.M.D and Buffalo Tom–dude had the best music supervision of any vert skater ever. No one else even comes close.

ANYWAY, speaking of b/s Sanchez grinds, Gallant unleashes a barrage of variations on what has become his signature trick. Are there any possible variations left, even?  Bigspin flip out, perhaps? Also, amidst Gallant’s part the song breaks into a guitar solo, the first one I can recall in a skate video since, like, Derk and the Jerks. Hopefully, before his departure from Plan B, Danny sat Gallant down in his study in the Plan B house and imparted to Gallant that, at the end of the day, there really is only one way to do it.

One is obliged to, truth be told, move it or lose it.

ANYWAY, Enrique, slightly to my chagrin, eschews the lines that made his It’s Official part interesting as fuck. However, I had a premonition that he was going to bring some variety of sw f/s shove esoteric shit to the table. Turns out he got all Pudwill on “dat ass” and sandwiched one in between a sw 5/0 and sw f/s crooked. Dude also contributes the most effective ledge-skating interpretation of the Biggie “fuck state pen, fuck ho’s at Penn State” line since Chris Frantzen’s L.A. County part.

Inside/Outside planter ledge transfers are the new skating the inside of a planter ledge, or some shit.


As for the Rhythm alumni–in some alternate universe, The American Mike Wright is represented herein–Pepper mines the fertile beanied and button-downed terrain he explored in Lindsay Lohan (best video title of the year; nothing else comes close). Chaney still wears backwards fitteds and doesn’t even have to throw in a signature pivot fakie. Probably the most textbook frontside crooked grind this year.

Angelides. I trip out that that seventeen winters ago I watched this “wheels of fortune” repeatedly. I had forgotten that he was once on Alien, kind of like how I forgot that Sean Malto was once on DC. ANYWAY, I think it is safe to say that, if dude can do nollie bigger flip manuals down hills, dude can still land guitars.* I cannot, however, ascertain if Jeff Taylor would still trade lives with him.

411 was metaphysical as shit.

ANYWAY, kooky reptile-alien theories aside, has Spencer finally eclipsed his friend Wade? One is hard-pressed to recall a 2010 video part as well-balanced in terms of ledge shit, manuals, and jumping down stuff.

…Which brings us to to Kenny Hoyle’s debut pro part. I sincerely wish him luck in the overwhelmingly image-driven world of professional skateboarder marketing. I cannot prognosticate how effective an image based on the wearing of “cool guy” sunglasses will be. However, Bachinsky promotes an image based on the hyberbolic and nonsensical act of smoking a cigarette through a cheeseburger, so what do I know? If, as Josiah Gatlyn claims, that Bachinsky lives below the poverty line, than maybe a more health-conscious image like Jeanguenin ‘s “martial arts” image or Pepper’s “Weber grill” image (one needs protein to bulk up, of course)  would be more effective. The stickers on which the aforementioned images are based, like the mid-Nineties Don Pendleton Alien stickers, are way too fucking cool to ever stick to anything. However, I find it interesting that Expedition, a previously imageless entity, deliberately assigned an image/persona to each of its riders. Maybe there was some kind of inter-industry memo–like when they told everyone to stop wearing plain white t-shirts.**

ANYWAY, Hoyle jumps down stuff less that theJesus Walks” part, yet ramps up the “what the fuck” factor, particularly in the line at that Sacramento ledge+ rail spot–to my knowledge, the most mind-numbing line ever at said location. Dude also throws a classic Penny trick at the Penny “Heroes” double set and reinterprets the Brian Lotti spot.

Which brings us to Welsh. Truth be told, as the years recede, the one/two punch of his Ryde or Die + Free Your Mind parts–the Ride the Lightning + Master of Puppets of “dope” skating– looms larger in my psyche than even Guy’s Mouse part. I stated this three years ago in the Fully Flared review, but oftentimes, after viewing these parts pre-work, I still find myself talking and/or walking as if I were at war. This makes me more workplace-effective than the average shmoe. I believe this very strongly.

Unfortunately, there was no Madness premiere event in my area, but if there were, I would have stood up and cheered at the appearance of the distressed leather Giants bomber. Shit is one of the most meaningful pieces of outerwear in the history of skating. Forrest Edwards’ army coat (or whatever) is getting up there, though.

As far as the actual content of Welsh’s part, I had mitigated expectations based on Hello Hello Hello. However, despite my disdain for Black Keys-type neo-blues, the bluesy music supervision is apt. At this point, Welsh resembles a masterful, well-seasoned guitar slinger, the skate equivalent of heroin-addled mid-Seventies Clapton–at the very least in terms of facial hair.  How can one not back a 3rd and Army line executed in pants that appear to date from the late Nineties*** or a sweatpanted double-sided-ledge n/s transfer? “Street skating–a dying breed.”

***

The narrative conceit fares relatively well as far as skate vid narrative conceits–cheesy almost by definition– go. Maybe someday a forward-thinking videographer will direct an In Treatment skate vid spoof in which team members divulge their neuroses to the team philosophical leader–say, Rick Howard, to name but one example. Then, at the conclusion of the vid, said philosophical leader goes to see his shrink. Covered in shadow like a secret informant on American Gangster or Dr. Claw, eventually the philosophical leader’s psychotherapist appears. It’s…it’s…

Rocco of course.

Quick, someone get Spike on the horn. This is my big pitch idea for the new Girl vid, due out in 2018.

*Who originated that quote–one of the Conklin brothers or some shit? Without a doubt one of the most memorable quotes ever.

**This actually happened, right?

***as my friend pointed out

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4 Responses to “The Return of the Distressed Leather Giants Bomber Jacket: Expedition “Madness” Video Review”

  1. smorales said

    dense. Not sure if I will ever see this video. Maybe on youtube in a year or so when it pops up in related videos.

  2. galen said

    thank you for these. i came back after a few months away and was happy to see i had a reason to stay up later than planned.

  3. crazylike said

    The part about being at working “walking and/or talking like I were at war” had my cracking up.

    The time between posts always makes me forget about this place and then I get to come back and read three great ones. Thanks!!

  4. […] Truth be told, I know pretty much nothing about this particular field, but I assume that one needs a specific acting job in order to act. A myriad of wheels—agents, sets, directors, contracts, shit like that–need to be in motion. That is to say, Freddie Prinze, Jr. doesn’t wake up and text everyone in his contacts asking “yo you acting today? “ Scott Wolf doesn’t roll up to the local acting spot and try to get an acting sesh going. On the other hand, perhaps Jav and Fabs owe their recent success to adopting a skating mindset to acting. Indeed, I have long held the belief that skating molds one into a more workplace-effective person. […]

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